


What if?

by NataliaWho2214



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: Charlotte/Charlie Gardner, Landon Florrick, Multi, Nathan Florrick, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NataliaWho2214/pseuds/NataliaWho2214
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really awful title, I know...If any of you could help me make a new one, that'd be great!</p><p>What if Alicia and Peter were the parents of four kids instead of just Zach and Grace. A few years before the scandal,  Alicia and Peter received a surprise in the form of a twin pregnancy. How would the family dynamic change with four kids? Will Peter and Alicia fight to make their relationship work? </p><p>Takes place during season 1. AU but still uses some cases and plot points from the first season.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! I can’t believe I’m starting another story when the ones I have aren’t even finished, but since the Good Wife is one of my favorite shows and it’s sadly come to an end, I’ve decided to write this story to re-live the show over again. I hope you like this AU-ish setting. Also, I do want to say that the twins aren’t going to be the only AU in this story. I’m probably going to change a couple of things that I didn’t like or things I wanted to add.

Alicia Florrick woke up to her youngest son's still snuggled up to her. The past six months following the scandal had been rough on everyone; and while Zach and Grace were attempting to adjust, it was difficult for Nathan and Landon. At only three years old, the fraternal twins couldn’t fully comprehend why their daddy was no longer home. Even before the move, the boys were anxious and confused and had reverted to falling asleep in their mother’s bed beside her. The recent move meant that they would probably be sleeping with her for a little while longer.

She looked at the sleeping boys beside her, so peaceful and clueless of the impact of change in their lives. She didn’t know she could really forgive Peter for what he’d done, cheating with a prostitute and corruption, all coming forward a month before the twins birthday. She sighed and carefully stood up from the bed. She walked quietly to the master bath and started the shower, the twins didn’t need to be up for another half hour which meant she could get ready for her first day back at work and Zach and Grace had their own morning routines. 

By the time 7am hit, Alicia was fully dressed and made up. She went over to the bed and went to wake the boys. 

“Nathan, Landon, it’s time to wake up.” She said gently, nudging their shoulders.

Landon was the first to wake, a frown on his face confused at what was going on.

“Mama?”

“Yes baby?”

“I’m sleepy.”

“I know honey, but it’s time to wake up.” She said giving him a kiss. 

Nathan woke up shortly after Landon and gave his mother a kiss and a hug.

“G’morning mommy.” He said.

“Good morning sweetie.”

They slowly walked out of the room leaving her to make the bed.

Her morning routine had changed drastically since the scandal erupted. Before, she’d been a stay at home mom for 13 years, and now she had to go back to work. She was thankful that Will Gardner hired her despite her long absence from being a lawyer. She was also thankful the public school system had bussing so she’d only have to worry about dropping off the twins at preschool. 

She exited the room to find the twins with Zach.

“Let’s brush our teeth guys, then we can have breakfast.” Zach said leading them into the bathroom the kids shared.

In the kitchen, she found Grace making toast.

“Morning mom.”

“Morning sweetie. Thanks for starting breakfast.”

“It’s your first day back, Zach and I figured we’d need to help more.”

“Well, I appreciate it.” She said preparing the coffee.

Several minutes later, the boys entered the kitchen, Zach helping the younger two grab plates for food.

While the kids ate, she went over to the twins room to pick out their clothes. She had 20 minutes to get them dressed as well as eat something herself, before she got Zach and Grace on the bus and then dropped the twins off. 

 

She had managed to accomplish everything she’d needed to do in her morning routine and was now sitting in a conference room in Stern, Lockhart & Gardener. She checked her watch  few times waiting for others to gather in the empty conference room. When she’d first entered the law firm, she noticed a few stares as she made her way through the corridors. Apparently being the wife of a disgraced politician wasn’t going to get old anytime soon. 

She checked her watch once more and saw that it was already 10 minutes past the start of the staff meeting. This was not the way to start her first day, late to the staff meeting.

She stopped a passing by paralegal and finally got the correct conference room. When she arrived she found the room filled, however she did receive her first case, a pro-bono and subsequently met Cary Agos, who she’d observed to be cocky and persistent. 

 

She took a deep breath before entering Will Gardner’s office. He’d waved her in, but was still on the phone in what seemed to be an important conversation.

“Claire, we discussed this. Next week is my week, you can’t just unexpectedly spring trips when it’s my week...” He argued. He gave her a small smile and gestured for her to sit.

“Yes and I can always take this to court and see if the judge agrees with you or with me.” He threatened. “Thank you, that’s all I ask. I’ll pick her up Sunday night. Bye.”

“I’m sorry for interrupting, we could’ve done this another time.” She said.

“No, don’t worry about it; custody battles come up at most inopportune times.”

“Custody?”

“Yeah, long story.”

“How old?”

“She’s turning five next week.” He reached for the frame on his desk and showed her the photo of him carrying a blonde haired little girl, both of them wearing matching Cubs jerseys. “This is Charlie.”

“Oh she’s adorable!” She complimented. “I would have never thought you’d settle down.”

“Thanks. Like I said long story.” He laughed. “Anyways, I wanted to meet with you to see how you’re settling in.”

“Everything is good. Thank you for trusting me with the pro-bono case.”

“It’s a good one to start off on, especially with since you’ve been absent for a little while.” He replied. “Diane has all of the files on it in her office. Also, our in-house Kalinda will be available to you if you need any help.”

“Thank you. One more thing, do you know junior associate Cary?”

“The one in the Brioni?” He asked before noticing the look she gave him. “What? I’m observant…”

“Well, he said something about ‘may the best man win’ what did he mean?”

He sighed in response. “We only have enough funds to hire one permanent Junior Associate, so we’re giving both of you a six month trial to see which one of you works better with the firm.”

“I see…”

“I’m sorry. If I could hire both of you, I would, but every Chicago firm is going through the same financial issues and downsizing.”

“Don’t worry, I understand.” She replied. “I should probably get to work then.”

“Yeah. It was nice talking to you again  Alicia, we should have lunch sometime.”

“Yeah, we could even bring the kids along...my boys are three.”

“Sounds good.”

* * *

 

Falling back into defense work was more difficult than she’d expected. Matan tried running her through the mud due to her husband, and wouldn’t let her get a word in, and Kalinda Sharma, the in-house investigator was a less than friendly presence.

Pulling up into the apartment parking garage, Alicia felt relieved to be back home. As far as her first day went it was a hell of a way to start off, but she was happy to finally be home with her kids. Learning that her and Cary were now in ‘competition’ only lit a fire within her. She’d always worked hard in the past and now she’d have to work twice as hard, not only for her, but for the four children that were depending on her.

“Mama, I drew you pictures!” Landon exclaimed handing her papers with colorful scribbles as soon as she entered the apartment.

“Thank you honey, it’s beautiful!”

“I drew you pictures too mommy!” Nathan added.

“Oh you boys are spoiling me. These are so beautiful I’ll have to hang them in my office at work so that everyone can see how talented you are.” She exclaimed.

The boys smiled and ran off to their bedroom.

“No running boys!” She called out after them.

“Are they still having a hard time?” Jackie asked.

Alicia nodded. “They don’t understand what’s happening, not that I expect them to.” She replied. “Thanks for helping out Jackie.”

“Why wouldn’t I help out?! Those children need some stability with everything that’s happened.” Jackie replied. 

“Thank you regardless.”

“When do you think you’ll take the kids to see their father?”

“We’re not discussing this Jackie.”

“Peter deserves to see his children.”

“Really?! Zach and Grace have to deal with backlash everyday from this, and the twins...do you know how difficult it is to tell toddlers why daddy can’t come to their birthday?”

“It’s been months since he’s last seen them…”

“And he’ll see them when I say it’s alright.” She said ending the discussion.

Jackie backed off and gathered her things to leave. “I can be here to watch the twins in the morning.”

“Thanks Jackie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After Jackie left, Alicia was left with the after dinner clean up.

“How was work?” Grace asked.

“It’ll take some getting used to, but it was good.”

“Is it weird...returning after being gone for so long.”

“It is, but like everyone else, I’m adjusting.” She replied. “Were the twins good for your grandma?”

Grace shrugged. “They kept asking when you’d be home, but they didn’t cause any real trouble.”

“They’re used to having me all of the time…” She replied sadly. The twins were used to always being with their mother, and Peter’s scandal had changed everything. The kids would have to deal with the unusual hours that being a lawyer had.

“They’ll get used to it mom. Besides, they have me and Zach.”

“Well I guess they’re lucky to have a great big sister and brother.”

“I like being their big sister, even if Nathan did leave an unfinished yogurt in my closet.”

“When did he do this?” 

“I found it after I came home from school today and then I saw that he had yogurt on his shirt.” Grace replied.

“Never a dull moment.” Alicia laughed.

“It’s alright. Grandma nearly had a heart attack when she saw him...it was pretty funny.”

“Well, make sure you behave a little for your grandma; we can’t have her getting sick otherwise you four would be on your own.”

“No promises.” Grace teased.

Her kids were the one silver lining in this situation. She was given the chance to grow closer to them in the weeks after the scandal and they never failed to put a smile on her face.

* * *

 

The next morning was nearly the same. Alicia had woken to Nathan and Landon sleeping beside her. She’d tried getting them to sleep in their own beds last night, but they’d started off in their beds for an hour before knocking at her door. 

This time though, they’d be able to sleep in a little longer since Jackie was coming in this morning. 

 

“The boys are still asleep, but they should be up by 8:30.” Alicia said to Jackie as she gathered her things. 

“I haven’t spent time with just the twins in a long while. I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun.”

“Good. Try to keep them out of Grace’s room, apparently they like to sneak in there and mess with her things; and call me if you have any questions, the boys routine has been a little off lately.” She finished before finally leaving.

She had to stop by the prison first to visit Peter. She felt apprehensive, but she needed to take care of the business he’d left her with.

  
  


Peter had an apologetic look on his face while she went over the sale of their former home and other financial details. She was attempting to be straightforward and business like, still unable to forgive him. He'd lied to her, betraying their vows and their children, he'd let her find out from the TV rather than himself. She knew she couldn't fully forgive him and while she still loved him, her trust in him was broken.

"How are they? Mom says she’s helping out around the house." He asked.

"They’re good. Grace is fighting your mother over clothes. And Zach is using you to make friends at school; I’m not sure if that’s a sign of health or something worse." She replied.

“He’s using me?”

“Funny or Die has a skit about you. I guess it’s cool”.

"And the twins?"

"They're confused..."

"I'm sorry." He began.

"They've been sleeping in bed with me since you were arrested."

"Do you think that's for the best?"

She frowned. He had no right to question her parenting skills when he was the one who had screwed up. 

"Everything has changed in their lives and if they need comfort from me, then I'll give it to them." She replied curtly.

"They started preschool didn't they?"

“Sort of. They go every other day, your mother watches them on the off days.”

She reached into her folder and pulled out the photos she'd taken of the kids and passed them to him.

His face lit up seeing the pictures and a genuine smile graced his lips. 

"They've grown, even Zach and Grace...I shouldn't have missed their first day." He sighed reaching out to hold her hand. 

She paused for a second before pulling back.  He tried apologizing again but when he started claiming innocence, she’d lost it. She didn’t care that he was innocent of the corruption charges, not when she had four children suffering from his actions. Zach, being the oldest was trying to keep strong. He tried putting on a brave face for the sake of his mother and his younger siblings. Grace was at odds. One part yearned to forgive her father, and the other was still upset at what happened and the backlash that came along with it. And the twins, only a month shy of their third birthday when their lives were turned upside down, constantly asked for their father and she was the one left to tell them that daddy wouldn’t be home for a while.

 

After she’d left the prison, she went straight to her office to work on Jennifer’s case. She’d tried getting the ‘pitted evidence’ comment out of her head, if she were to come forward with that information, it would seem as though she were getting inside information from Peter thus breaking the integrity of her case. No, she’d have to go about it in a different way. 

She looked through the casefiles and evidence from the first investigation in case she could find anything that was missed or bypassed. From her search, she found a few things that could change the outcome of the case, and by the time she got home that night she was confident that this case would move along well.

 

“You visited dad today right?” Grace asked. She was laying on her mother's bed while Alicia hung her blazer.

“I did.”

“How is he?”

“He’s hanging in there. He sends hugs and kisses to you and your brothers.”

“Is it weird that I miss him?”

“No, it’s not weird honey. He’s your dad and you’ve had a lot of great memories together.”

“But he hurt you and he lied…”

“That’s between your father and I. What happened with us shouldn’t affect if you miss him or not.” She explained.

Grace nodded pondering the information. 

“Was school any better today?” Alicia asked.

Grace shrugged. “Public school’s different, I miss my friends.”

“You can still invite them over or go and see them. It’s not forbidden.”

“I know, it’s just weird. All they’d want to talk about is what happened with dad and I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Well then you’ll make new friends here.”

Grace shrugged again. This had become her new teenage habit that she’d taken to and while it annoyed Alicia, she didn’t bother scolding or questioning her daughter on tiny matters.

“Let’s go eat dinner, before your brothers finish everything.” She replied changing the subject.

By the time they walked into the kitchen, the boys were already eager and waiting for dinner.

They ate together, which Alicia knew would be a rare occasion with her new job, but for now she cherished the time with her children.

After dinner, she gave the twins a bath and read them a story before putting them to bed, only for them to find their way back into hers at 10pm while she went over the case notes.

“Mama, we can’t sleep!” Landon said peeking through the door, Nathan standing next to him.

She sighed; it was hard to refuse their sweet faces. They only needed the comfort of their mother's love and she couldn't deny them that. “Hop in, Let’s get some sleep.”

The boys haphazardly climbed into the king sized bed and got under the covers.

“Goodnight mommy.” Nathan sighed.

“G’night mama.” Landon followed.

“Goodnight boys.”

She turned off the lamp and watched as her boys quickly fell asleep beside her.

* * *

 

The stress of a new job, a big case, and four children did not stop Alicia from doing well in court that week. After a couple of bumps during the questioning, she managed to clear Jennifer of the charges. 

Her first successful week as a lawyer after being away from 13 years was celebrated with a shot of tequila with Kalinda, who was friendlier than she originally thought.

“You’re not staying for another?” Kalinda asked as Alicia stood from the bar stool.

“I’m not built for the late night drinking anymore.” She replied.

“I figured the million kids at home would push you to drink more?” She deadpanned.

“The teenagers do, the little ones are easier to handle believe it or not.” She laughed.

“So you and Will knew each other in college right?”

“Yeah, we had a few classes together.” She replied. “It’s surprising though, I never imagined him having a kid.”

Kalinda nodded. “It was a big shock to everyone apparently. Him and Claire weren’t together very long when they found out.”

“Hmmm.” Alicia hummed. She checked her watch and saw that she needed to get home. “Now I really have to go. See ya tomorrow.”

Kalinda tipped her glass in acknowledgement as she walked off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! Once more Im using the plot from season 1, episode 2 this time. This is just to set the plot and the story for this fic.

“It kind of makes you sick doesn’t it?” Will said as they drove over to meet with William Ericsson.

“Sorry?” She replied looking up from her phone.

“Christy. Every assault case I've taken on since becoming a father just kills me a little more.” He explained. “I look at Charlie and I just want to protect her as much as I can from everything.”

“I know the feeling. I remember a few months after Grace was born, everytime I read the news about an assault I would run to check on her. One time Peter was working as prosecutor on a rape case, Grace was only 8 weeks old, and he just came home and held her for the longest time.”

“I did the same thing with Charlie. I just held her and promised her that I would always be there to protect her.”

Her phone went off, interrupting their conversation. From the ringtone, she could tell Jackie was calling.

"Hi Jackie."

"Hello Alicia. I'm calling to see if you'd like me to take the boys for a haircut."

"No Jackie, they don't need haircuts."

"I beg to differ, their hair is becoming too long."

"It's barely to their ears, I'll take them when it gets too unruly."

"Very well...."

_"Grandma is that mama?"_ She heard Landon's voice ask.

"Yes honey it is."

_ "Can I talk to mama?" _

"You can put him on Jackie." Alicia replied.

“You really shouldn’t make them too dependent on you. They need to get used to you working.”

“Just let me talk to my son Jackie.”

She heard a sigh from Jackie, but rolled her eyes.

"Hi mama."

"Hi baby. Are you and Nathan behaving for grandma?"

"Uh huh. Mama when are you coming home?"

"I'll be home in time for dinner."

"Why can't you come home now?"

"Because mommy has to work, but I promise you that tonight and you can tell me what you guys did with Grandma and show me all of the great pictures you drew."

"Okay mama. I love you."

"I love you too buddy." She replied before making a quick kiss sound for her son.

“Sorry about that.” She apologized after hanging up the phone.

“Don’t, I’ve done the same thing with Charlie multiple times. I'm guessing the twins are still adjusting?” Will commented.

She gave a nod. “I'm just glad they have Zach and Grace and even my mother-in-law when I'm not home. It gives them a bit of normalcy and structure that they used to have.”

“I think structure was the hardest thing for me when Charlie came along.”

“You never did tell me the long story by the way…”

He grinned. “Claire and I met while I was on a run. We were only together four months before she found out she was pregnant. We tried to make it work and for most of her pregnancy it did; but when you're pushed together in that type of situation, it's so easy to fall apart. And it fell apart fast, when Charlie was three months old, she told me she couldn’t do it anymore. She was tired of my late nights at work and our constant fighting. She wanted me out of her life and she wanted full custody of Charlie. Naturally, I fought her for partial custody and won thanks to our guy in family law. We’re civil for Charlie’s sake, but other than that there’s not much left between us.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s better this way, trust me. If we had stayed together because of Charlie, we would have been really unhappy. This way, Charlie sees both her mom and dad happy and not fighting endlessly.”

They pulled up to the restaurant and exited the car to meet with the opposing counsel.

* * *

 

As the week went on, Alicia dove deeper into the rape case. She’d spent several late nights at her office and had even ended up falling asleep at the dining table while looking into the case.

She’d gone out on many of the investigative interviews with Kalinda and even had a less than pleasant run-in with Glenn Childs. Still the case was moving towards a pre-trial meaning she had to be prepared.

She entered the prison yard and saw Peter waiting for her. His outer appearance was still well-kempt and he still looked every bit as handsome as always, but his eyes told a different story. It seemed as if every time she visited him, they looked more weary than the last time. Was this guilt? Remorse for what he’d put his family through?

“Hey, how’ve you been?” He asked.

She shrugged, inwardly smiling at the behavior that mimicked her teenaged daughter.

“I heard you’ve been causing quite a stir in the State’s Attorney’s office?” He continued. “Even after years of not practicing, you’re still the fierce and dauntless attorney I met in law school.”

He went to place an arm around her shoulder, but she quickly shrugged him off.

“Your mother’s been talking to the kids about you…” She changed the subject.

“How?”

“She’s saying that you miss them and that you want to see them.”

“I miss them, how could I not? But I’ve never mentioned it to her.” He replied. “We agreed that they wouldn’t visit me.”

She gave a nod remembering their previous conversations.

“Do they want to visit me?”

“Zach does…”

“But Grace doesn’t.” He finished.

“She’s still upset. It doesn’t help that the twins still ask about you.”

She saw the pain in his eyes as he nodded. 

It was going well, them speaking civilly, almost as if the scandal hadn’t happened. However, when Peter had brought up Christy’s case, she’d defaulted to her suspicions. How could she not? She’d been hurt by him before with his affair, and now he was speaking about Christy as if he were familiar with her. Who else had he slept with? Did he have a harem of women he ran to when she was too tired after caring for his children all day? Was it all a lie? Was their marriage all a lie?

“If I’m supposed to forgive you, I want to know what I’m forgiving you for. At $3,000 a pop that’s, what, $60,000? Did you pay her not to use condoms? Was that extra?” She exclaimed.

“Please, Alicia…” He replied in a hushed tone, trying to calm her down.

“Your weekend trip to Houston, did you take her?”

“You know I didn’t.”

“I don’t know what I know. Grace’s 12th birthday party, you said you had to leave early. Where did you go, Peter? Answer those questions, then we can talk about forgiveness.” She finished before standing and walking away from him.

She didn’t know if she could keep going through this rollercoaster. It seemed as if every time they seemed to be back on track to working their relationship out, something came out of the woodwork. Two steps forward, one step back...that’s what it felt like.

 

* * *

 

Alicia sighed in relief as she entered the apartment. This case felt as if she were coming up to road block after road block.

"You're home." Jackie greeted.

"I am." She replied, setting down the grocery bags. 

Grace walked in to greet her mom.

“How was work?” Grace asked.

"Not good. I thought we could make breakfast..."

"For dinner, oh goodness!" Jackie declared.

Alicia rolled her eyes. "It's more so for me..."

Jackie still looked as if she had walked in on a scandal.

Alicia started dinner as Jackie said goodbye to the kids and left.

Zach walked in and joined his sister at the counter.

She attempted to discuss visiting Peter to them, and while Zach was excited, she could clearly see that Grace was apprehensive. 

“How about Nathan and Landon?” Zach asked.

“Your dad and I discussed that the twins are too young to visit, but you and Grace are old enough to make the decision to go see your dad.”

They gave each other a look.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah mom, it’s nothing.” Zach replied. 

A knock at the door interrupted. 

"I'll go get it mom." Grace offered.

"Thanks sweetie." She replied.

“I’m gonna do homework.” Zach said.

"Mom, it's for you." Grace called out.

Alicia walked out of the kitchen and over to the front door.

Kalinda was standing waiting with Grace. For the first time, Alicia noticed that the investigator looked uneasy.

"Kalinda, what are you doing here?"

But before Kalinda could answer she was interrupted by the sounds of a crash and crying.

"One second. Come in by the way..." She said before running to the kitchen.

She found Nathan on the floor crying.

"Nathan what happened?!" She gasped

The three year old didn't answer but continued to cry.

"He falled Mama!" Landon spoke up. "You'll be okay Nathan!" He cooed to his brother.

She noticed the small bump forming on his forehead and picked him up. She figured that he had been running and slipped, therefore running into the island.

"Oh honey, you're alright." She cooed.

She sat Nathan on the counter and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. She placed the ice pack on his forehead while Grace took the initiative and turned off the skillet. 

"You're okay buddy, you’ll live. Now you know why mommy says no running inside?" She said gently.

He nodded, still hiccuping from the tears.

"I have to go talk to someone, but Gracie will take care of you okay?"

"No!!!" He cried in protest.

"Okay, alright." She sighed and picked him up, letting his head rest on her shoulder. Landon followed behind closely.

"Sorry." She mouthed to Kalinda, who had followed into the kitchen and watched the scene unfold. 

"Do you want to do this later?" She asked

"No, it's fine. If we did this later, it’d be the other one getting hurt." Alicia replied. "So what're you doing here?"

"I found something on the case."

"Please tell me it's something good." She said as she led her to the dining room table.

Kalinda's face remained stoic as she sat. Alicia sat down across from her, Nathan still in her arms, and Landon standing beside her trying to hold Nathan's hand.

"The DNA is definitely not from McKeon's Semen." Kalinda began before noticing Grace standing close by.

"I just wanted to check on Nathan." She said quietly.

"Nathan, Landon do you want to go sit with Gracie?" Alicia asked.

Nathan looked up at Grace and nodded. Grace smiled and picked him up from her mom's arms. 

"You can watch some TV before dinner." Alicia added.

Grace nodded and walked towards the couch with Landon following close behind.

"How's your head buddy?" Grace asked.

"It hurts real bad." Nathan pouted.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?"

He nodded. Grace placed a kiss on her brothers forehead and snuggled him while they watched TV together.

"Gracie, will he have a booboo?" Landon asked.

"He will, but it'll get better real fast!" Grace replied.

“Anyways, I was going to the crime lab to see if they ever collected DNA from the other party-goers after the assault I asked a cop friend to run the rape kit results through CODIS, and they got a hit.” Kalinda continued.

“Who, the best man?”

“Manny Lyons. A rapist serving twenty-to-life in an Ohio supermax.”

“I don’t understand. Was he at the party?”

“Far as I can tell, he was in a holding cell in Columbus at the time-- if these records can be trusted.”

Alicia sat back and pondered the news. 

"They get along well." Kalinda observed.

She looked over and saw the Grace, Nathan, and Landon, all cuddled on the couch. She gave a smile, proud of how close her children were despite the large age gap. Zach and Grace were fantastic older siblings to the twins.

"She loves being a big sister; she was so excited when we first found out." Alicia said smiling at the pair. 

  
  


** Flashback **

_ Alicia sat in the OB's office, with Peter by her side. She was nervous to the say the least. This pregnancy wasn't planned, she and Peter had only planned on having 2 kids; and having Zach and Grace felt perfect. Of course, a gala including an open bar and a stay in a hotel suite gave them a surprise. _

_ "Alicia Florrick?" The nurse called out. _

_ Alicia and Peter stood and followed her to the exam room. Peter held her hand and squeezed it in show of support. He'd had a huge smile on his face when she showed him the positive test; although more kids weren't his plan either, he was thrilled. _

_ She watched as the nurse squirted the gel on her stomach and began listening to the heart rate. Moving around the doppler, she could see hear the heartbeat. _

_ She smiled at her husband, actually feeling excited about this unplanned pregnancy. She then looked to the nurse who appeared worried. _

_ "Is something wrong?" Peter asked. _

_ "The heartbeat is a little irregular, I think we'll need to perform an ultrasound just to get a better reading." _

_ Alicia agreed, and accepted the fact that there would probably be complications. She was 36 and pregnancies later in age weren't easy.  _

_ "Everything will be okay." Peter soothed once the nurse left the room. _

_ "What if it's not?" _

_ "It will Alicia, I know it will." _

-

_ "Mrs. Florrick, it looks like you're carrying twins." The tech explained as she moved the transducer around and pointed onto the screen.  _

_ “Twins?!” The couple exclaimed in unison. _

_ "Yes. This is Baby A and that’s Baby B. Their heartbeats aren’t in synch, which completely normal, which was why we had to perform the ultrasound just to be sure what was going on." _

_ "But everything is okay right?" _

_ The tech nodded. "The embryos are measuring within a few days. Baby A is measuring at 7 weeks and Baby B is measuring at 6 weeks and 5 days along." She replied. "Of course multiple pregnancies are considered to be more high risk, but we'll have your Obstetrician go over all of that." _

 

_ The ride home was surreal. They'd been only expecting one baby, and the surprise of another was shocking. _

_ "Twins." Alicia stated. _

_ "Twins." Peter concurred. _

_ "Two crying babies, two hungry crying babies." _

_ "We can handle it honey, I know we can. We're experienced now, we had Grace when Zach was 16 months old." _

_ "But Zach was starting to sleep through the night at that point." _

_ "It was still 2 diapers to change, 2 babies to put to bed, 2 crying babies to feed..." _

_ "But you heard what the doctor said, it'll be a lot more high risk due to my age." _

_ "You're only 36 Alicia, plenty of women have kids into their 30s, besides I have faith that everything will be alright." He replied kissing her hand. _

_ "So we're having twins..." She smiled. _

_ "We're having twins." _

 

_ They told the kids that night after dinner. _

_ "Zach, Grace, your mom and I have some news to share." Peter began. _

_ "Are we moving?" Zach asked. _

_ "No. Why would you say that?" Alicia asked. _

_ "I heard you and dad talking about moving." _

_ "We're not moving." She assured. "Your father and I were just preparing because things are going to change." _

_ "Change how?' Grace asked.  _

_ "Well, in about seven months we're going to have 2 new guests staying with us." Peter began. _

_ Alicia stood and walked to her bag and pulled out the two sonograms and handed one to both Grace and Zach. _

_ "You're having a baby?!" Grace exclaimed. _

_ "Two babies." Alicia confirmed. _

_ "Oh my god, twins?!" Grace cried. "I'm going to be a big sister?!" _

_ "You are honey!" _

_ Grace stood and hugged her parents excitedly.  _

_ "Are you having boys or girls?" _

_ "We don't know yet. We won't know for another couple of months." _

 

She thought to Peter and how shocked yet excited he'd been when she first took the test. As with Zach and Grace, he'd been there for every step of the pregnancy. They'd been so happy and in tune, that she couldn't help but think about how their relationship broke apart.  

Was Peter faithful to her during her pregnancy with the twins? Were there any other women he hadn't admitted to?  

 

Once the trial was over, Alicia drove straight over to the prison.

Peter was surprised when she walked in, but let her maintain all of the control.

"Did you start seeing her while I was pregnant?" She asked after they'd sat in silence for 15 minutes.

"No. It wasn't until after their second birthday."

"Why?"

"I don't know...maybe it's because we were so busy and we never had the time anymore..."

"But you found the time for her." She concluded. "How many others? How many other women have there been since we've together?"

He sighed. He didn't want to hurt her, but he also wanted to be honest with her, and he knew that sometimes honesty hurt.

"There's been one other woman, before Amber."

"Who?"

"It was only once, she worked for me at the State's Attorney's office. Her name was Kalinda."

"Oh god!" Alicia groaned.

"What's the matter?"

"Kalinda Sharma right?"

He nodded.

"I work with her, she's the in-house for Stern Lockhart & Gardner."

"It was only once. I helped her out of a dangerous situation with her ex-husband and she initiated it..."

"I don't want to know the details."

He resisted trying to hold her hand, knowing she'd pull away.

"What you said about forgiveness earlier this week...I want to work for your forgiveness."

"What if I can't forgive you?"

"Then you can't, but I'll still work hard regardless. I started seeing a counselor, just to discuss my issues that I need to work on."

She gave a nod.

"I don't think we could ever go back to how things were before." She finally said.

"I never assumed we could. It happened, and it's changed both of us, I broke your trust and the only way I can fix this, is by fixing myself and my flaws. I just hope we can comeback from this stronger." He replied. "If I get my appeal, I want us to go to counseling, to help us."

"That's a good idea. We'll need as much help as possible."

He took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "I love you."

"I love you too." She replied, and she meant it, for the first time in many months.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break between chapters. I kind of had a little writers block and I'm also currently writing my thesis/dissertation so all of my writing energy has been put towards that. I am however taking some time out to work on updating my stories!  
> This chapter takes place during the episode Crash 1x05.

Jackie Florrick walked into the visiting center of the prison, her grandkids following closely behind. It killed her to see her son behind bars and although he'd done wrong, she knew he was trying to make amends.

Peter stood and waved to her before he saw the kids behind her.

Zach was the first to run and hug him, Grace was reluctant at first and kept her hands occupied by holding her brothers' hands.

"Daddy!" Landon and Nathan shouted in unison.

Peter teared up as his boys ran up to him. He knelt down and hugged them tightly.

"Hey boys! Are you being good boys for mommy?"

They nodded. "When are you coming home?" Nathan asked.

"Not for a little while longer buddy."

"But we miss you."

"I know, I miss you too. But daddy has to stay in here just a little while longer."

Nathan pouted sadly, causing a piercing pain to shoot through Peter’s heart. He hated upsetting his children, especially the twins who didn’t quite understand the situation.

He looked over at his mother who smiled at the reunion; he’d have to speak to her about bringing the twins.

"Hi Dad." Grace greeted giving him a hug.

"Gracie, I'm glad you're here." He said. 

 

Spending time with his kids brought him so much joy. He really screwed up when he betrayed Alicia, in part he was also betraying his kids. Now he was stuck here because of his action and only he could solve this problem.

“So what’s new at home?” He asked.

“Mom’s working a lot.” Grace replied. “But it’s cool, she’s kinda different now.”

“Different how?”

“Like happier I guess…”

“Well of course she would be. Your mom is a fantastic lawyer and she sacrificed a lot to raise you guys.” 

“Will she still work when you get out?” Zach asked.

“It’s up to her.”

 

After a little while, the twins began complaining that they were hungry; Peter sent the kids to the vending machine, leaving him and his mother alone.

“Mom, why’d you bring the twins?!” He scolded.

“They’re your children! Alicia has no right to keep them from you!”

“She’s not keeping them from me. I told her I didn’t want them coming to visit me here; they’re too young to understand.”

“But they wanted to see their dad. They ask about you all the time.”

“Yes, but Alicia and I agreed that this would hurt them more than it would help them. I speak to them every week and they know that I love them.”

“I apologize. I should have respected your wishes.”

“Thank you. And please, just listen to Alicia, everything dealing with the kids we’ve discussed already and have already come to an agreement.”

“You have my word Peter, I’ll respect the decisions you’ve made.”

 

The prison visit lasted 45 minutes before it was time to go. 

"One last hug." Peter said giving each of his kids a hug and a kiss, not wanting to let any of them go. The twins held on for a little longer neither wanting to leave their father.

"Be good for your mommy okay?" Peter said to the twins.

They nodded.

“Good, and I want you to each draw me as many pictures as you can.” He said putting on a cheerful voice. “Okay, we have to say goodbye now.”

"Bye daddy." They said in unison.

"Come on guys. Grandma said she'd take us for ice cream." Grace said gathering her brothers and trying to distract them.

It hurt seeing her little brothers so upset; they didn’t really understand the situation making it difficult for everyone. Nathan would constantly ask if dad would come home that weekend, and  trying to explain to him why he couldn’t was painful.

The boys kept looking back at their dad as they walked away. It felt like a stab to the heart being parted from his kids, but now they were his motivation to make everything right again.

* * *

  
  


Will rushed out of his office, keys and jacket in hand. Charlie needed to be picked up from school, and since it was his week with his daughter, it meant taking time out of his day to pick her up.

Finding a routine for his daughter had been difficult for him. He'd been so used to being a child-free bachelor previous to Charlie's birth, but once she was placed in his arms, he'd fought tooth and nail to be the best father to his kid. Even after his breakup with Claire, he knew he wanted to be as involved as possible.

Although he and David Lee had never been the best of friends, it was he, who helped him win partial custody of Charlie and get her every other week instead of the every other weekend Claire had wanted.

He arrived at the school and saw Charlie waiting with her teacher.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed.

"Hey peanut!" He greeted. "You ready to go?"

She nodded and ran into her father's arms.

"How was school?" He asked giving her a hug.

"It was good daddy. I got to be line leader today."

"Line leader?! I bet you did a really good job!"

He placed her in the backseat and let her buckle herself into her car seat.

"Daddy, are we going home?"

"No, daddy has a big case, so we're going to my work."

"Really?!" She exclaimed.

"Really." He affirmed.

"Will Miss. Diane be there?"

"She might be."

Charlie squealed in delight. She loved visiting Stern, Lockhart & Gardner and had made a quick friend in Diane Lockhart.

"But remember peanut, Miss Diane might be busy so you might only get to say a quick hello."

"I know daddy." She replied. “When I grow up I want to be just like Miss Diane!”

Will smiled; he wouldn’t mind having his daughter follow his legacy and become a lawyer. Perhaps she would even grow up to work at his law firm.

 

As they pulled into the parking garage, Charlie excitedly unbuckled herself from her booster seat causing Will to turn his head to glance at her.

"Charlie sweetie, you can't keep unbuckling yourself when I'm still driving."

"But we're in the garage?"

"I know peanut, but it can still be dangerous."

She sighed and buckled herself again as they drove further to his parking spot.

“I’m sorry daddy, I didn’t mean to make you mad.” She said sadly.

“I know honey and I’m not mad. If a car bumped us and you weren’t buckled in, you would’ve been hurt very badly; I just want to keep you safe.” He explained, turning off the engine.

 

"Okay, you got everything?" He asked as he helped her out of the car.

She nodded.

"Alright, let's go upstairs."

She held his hand as they rode up the elevator and entered the floor of the law firm.

She received a couple of greetings from the receptionists and paralegals. This wasn't the first time he'd brought his daughter in, she was a constant visitor at the Stern, Lockhart & Gardner offices and thankfully well behaved. The first time he’d brought her into work with him was when she was two. The babysitter had fallen through and he had a big case during his week. He remembered the big baby bag he had shouldered filled with toys and snacks to occupy her.

They walked over to the conference room where Alicia sat, looking over the client files.

"We're back. Charlie, this is my colleague." He introduced. "Can you say hi?"

The little girl waved.

"Oh I know you're not shy! Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"My name is Charlotte May Gardner." She introduced holding her hand out to shake Alicia's.

"That’s a beautiful name Charlotte May Gardner!” She replied with a smile before shaking her small hand. “Well it's wonderful to meet you. I'm Alicia."

"And what do we say?"

"Nice to meet you Miss. Alicia."

"Good. Now Daddy and Miss Alicia need to get some work done, so you need to sit here quietly and color okay?"

"Yes daddy."

"Thank you."

 

Seeing the little girl sitting beside her father, Alicia could see the resemblance between Will and Charlie. She had his eyes and cheekbones and wore the same look of concentration as her father while she colored.

Seeing Will Gardner as a father was strange. In college he always swore that he'd never have kids, now here he was with a beautiful little girl. Then again, she had sworn that she only wanted two children and now she had four that she could never see her life without.

 

The pair sat reading files when Charlotte’s voice interrupted.

“Daddy, Miss. Diane is here! Can I please say hi to her? Please please please?!” She exclaimed.

The pair turned their heads and saw Diane Lockhart in the middle of the hall talking to one of the paralegals.

“In a minute peanut, Miss. Diane is talking to someone.”

Charlotte hopped off of the chair and ran to the glass door and waited. 

 

Diane lockhart finished her conversation and began her journey back to her office when she noticed the door of one of the conference rooms open up.

“Miss Diane!” 

She looked down and saw Charlotte Gardner excitedly walk over to her.

“Hello Charlie. What are you doing here?”

“Daddy had some work to do so I came too.”

“Are you helping your daddy out with his work?”

“You’re silly, I can’t help him! I’m not a lawyer yet!”

Diane smiled. “Let’s get you back to your dad.”

Charlotte took a hold of Diane’s hand and followed her back into the conference room.

“Thanks for bringing her back Diane.” Will said as she walked in.

“You’re lucky I did. Charlie’s my best girl, I could’ve stolen her and taken her home with me.”

“What do you think Charlie? Would you rather live with me or Miss. Diane?”

Charlotte frowned and thought about it for a second.

“Well I love Daddy and he always tells me good stories and gives me ice cream. But Miss Diane has a puppy and lipstick!”

Diane and Alicia let out a chuckle of laughter.

“Ouch, rejected by my own daughter!” Will laughed.

“But I still want to live with you Daddy, don’t feel bad.”

“Thank you peanut.” He laughed picking her up in his arms and giving her a kiss.

* * *

 

That night, Alicia returned home only to learn of the news of the children's visit to prison. She was less than thrilled, while she knew Zach and Grace were able to handle it, the twins were too young to understand the situation. She'd tried explaining the situation as best as she could, but it was difficult telling three year old kids that their father had cheated with a call girl and was in prison for possible corruption.

The twins once more joined her in bed that night. They'd had two weeks straight of sleeping in their room, but the visit had unsettled them and made them need the comfort of their mother.

She read over some papers with Nathan and Landon snuggled up to her on each side.

"Mama?" Landon began, taking her away from her reading.

"Yes sweetie?"

"We saw daddy today!"

"I know sweetie, your grandma told me."

"He looked sad mommy." Nathan said.

"He just misses you guys so much."

"When will daddy come home?" Nathan asked.

"Not for a little while."

“That’s what Zach said.”

“Zach is right. Daddy won’t be home for a little while longer.”

"Is daddy mad at us mama?"

"No honey, why would you say that?" She choked back the pain of the conversation.

"Because he doesn't want to come home." Landon explained.

"No honey, your daddy wants to come home very badly and he could never be mad at you two." She explained. "Daddy had to go to grown-up time out, but he's doing his best to come back to be with us."

The boys remained quiet at her response. It hurt her knowing that they thought this way; that Peter left because he was angry with them. No child should ever feel that way, and yet her kids did.

"How about I read you two a bedtime story?" She began. "You boys can each pick a book."

The boys nodded and ran to their room to pick out a story.

Alicia scanned the night stand as the boys looked for their books. She looked at the family photo, taken on one of their first vacations after the twins were born.

She remembered that week vividly. The twins were only 8 months old, but Peter had insisted on taking a trip to florida and let the kids visit Disney.  She had been less than thrilled; flying with two infants was not a good way to start a vacation. However, by the end she had as much fun as the kids had.

She didn’t know if she and Peter could ever get it back. Too much damage was done, and there was no way she could forgive or forget his actions; but he was trying. That’s what he told her. He was willing to work on himself and while it meant a lot to her, she knew it would take a long time to have that semblance of normalcy back.


End file.
